Lou P.’s Grand Day Out at Epic Universe

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Lou P. Rider

🖼️ Photo by Gfgbeach - CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

(A Love Letter to Roller Coasters, Animatronics, and the Sweet Smell of Pretzels in the Air)

Epic Universe had been on my bucket list since the first whispers of construction cranes and concept art hit the internet. So when the stars finally aligned (and by “stars,” I mean my work schedule, park tickets, and the Florida weather forecast), I strapped on my most comfortable sneakers and headed in for a full day of theme park magic.

The result? A day that included jaw-dropping rides, unexpected surprises, the occasional mechanical hiccup, and—most importantly—stories I’ll be telling for years.

Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge – Real-Life Rainbow Road

I’ll be honest: I went into Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge expecting it to be “cute” but maybe not thrilling. Boy, was I wrong. This ride is an adrenaline-packed love letter to every Mario Kart match you’ve ever rage-quit.

I watched the wait times like a hawk and pounced the second it dropped below 25 minutes. Totally worth it. In fact, I even went for a second lap using the single rider line—walked right on.

The queue? A masterpiece. It was so perfectly themed that I almost didn’t mind when the ride paused a couple of times mid-track (we’ll call those “banana peel moments”). The augmented reality goggles made me feel like I was dodging shells and collecting coins for real, and the whole experience blurred the line between video game and reality. I may or may not have raised my hands in victory as if I’d just beaten my own cousin on Rainbow Road.

Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry – Magic on a Grand Scale

Now this one—Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry—tested my patience. The line was absurdly long. Like, “hope you brought snacks and a good audiobook” long. But oh, the queue. Imagine walking through a movie set with details so immersive you start checking for Ministry employees behind desks.

Unfortunately, the ride broke down while I was still in line (insert dramatic sigh here), but once I boarded, it was worth it. Think Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey—but bigger, smoother, and with animatronics that actually made me gasp. Despite massive ride movements, it never felt uncomfortably jerky. My recommendation? Only brave it if the posted wait is an hour or less, or snag early park access. Your feet will thank you.

Hiccup’s Wing Gliders – Soaring to the Top of My List

The sleeper hit of my day was Hiccup’s Wing Gliders. I didn’t expect much, but once airborne, I was hooked. It was smooth, it had boosts that made me grin like a kid, and the theming was spot-on.

The downside? The line was long—the longest I waited all day—and while there was some shade, the sun in the morning hit at just the right angle to remind me I forgot sunscreen. Still, if they’d let me ride all day, I would have.

Dragon Racers Rally – Short but Sweaty Fun

This one was pure fun. Dragon Racers Rally let me spin my way into three full rotations, but it did take some muscle. By the end, my arms were jelly. It’s short—too short, in my opinion—but if they added just another minute, it’d be perfection.

Curse of the Werewolf – A Bit of a Howler

Sadly, Curse of the Werewolf was the first real letdown of the day. The queue? Spooky and atmospheric. The ride itself? Too fast and the spinning barely happened. The theming inside felt like it missed its big dramatic moment. Not terrible, but not something I’d race back to.

Monster’s Unchained: The Frankenstein Experiment – Spooky Perfection

If there was a gold medal for ride theming, Monster’s Unchained: The Frankenstein Experiment would take it. The lore built into the queue was fascinating, and I never waited more than five minutes to ride.

The animatronics? Stunning—even if a couple were stuck mid-motion. The story was compelling, the atmosphere electric. It’s one of those rides that makes you want to immediately get back in line.

Constellation Carousel – The Prettiest Spin You’ll Ever Take

I’ve been on a lot of carousels in my life, but Constellation Carousel wins for sheer elegance. With just a 10-minute wait, I climbed aboard one of the beautifully designed creatures and experienced what can only be described as a synchronized waltz in the cosmos.

Pro tip: Ride it at night. The lights turn the whole thing into a dreamy, glowing spectacle.

Stardust Racers – The Park’s Crown Jewel

If Epic Universe has a headline act, it’s Stardust Racers. I waited in a long line, but the payoff was immense. The dueling coaster design meant that I could watch the other train race alongside me, and the sensation was pure thrill.

I tried both the left and right tracks—no clear winner. Riding it at night, though? Unmatched. It’s not just the best ride in the park; it might be the best ride in the country.

Yoshi’s Adventure – For the Little Ones

Yoshi’s Adventure is definitely more for kids (and their very patient parents). It’s slow, sunny (too sunny), and the animatronics are… fine. I wouldn’t go on it again unless bribed with a churro.

Fyre Drill – Wet and Weird

Need a break from the heat? Fyre Drill is your friend. The idea is that you spray targets to get splashed, but in reality, spraying the targets didn’t seem to do much. I had way more fun soaking other boats.

Donkey Kong: Mine-Cart Madness – Track-Hopping Thrills

This one always had a giant line, and honestly, it’s not worth more than a 60-minute wait. That said, the theming was fantastic, and the “jumping off the track” illusion is a great trick. It’s a bit jerky, though—I smacked my elbow twice and left with a tiny bruise. Still, fun enough to try once.

Final Thoughts

Epic Universe was everything I hoped for—rich theming, inventive ride systems, and the kind of immersive experiences that make you forget you’re in the middle of Florida. Sure, some rides had quirks (looking at you, Werewolf), but the highs far outweighed the lows.

Would I go back? Absolutely. Next time, though, I’m bringing more sunscreen, a refillable water bottle, and maybe some arm-strengthening exercises before tackling Dragon Racers Rally again.